Hi my fellow bride-to-bes!
Today’s post is more of a personal one for me. I’ve been debating on whether to even post it or not, because it’s been tough enough to admit to myself, let alone everyone else.
As women, we feel as though we should be able to balance it all - work, home life, relationships, friendships, side hustles, volunteer roles… etc…. Women are notorious for over committing and over scheduling ourselves. And then you add wedding planning on top of it?
So here it is, ya’ll. My biggest struggle as a bride… is being a good fiance.
My Biggest Struggle as a Bride
I hate admitting it, but my attention to my relationship has suffered over this past year. If you’ve been following along, you know the timeline… We got engaged last May, I started a new job the week after, launched A Girl, Her Life a few months later and another gig a few months after that.
And with my attention being drawn in so many different directions, my relationship has been pushed to the bottom when it comes to my time. I haven’t taken full advantage of enjoying this stage of life like I wanted to and like my engagement deserves.
Before you freak out - Logan and I are 100% fine! I am so lucky to have someone who is willing to give 120% when I can only give 80%, and vice versa!
Give and Take
But that’s what relationships should be, right? It’s impossible for two people to always give 100% at all times. Someone is likely going to be pulled in another direction due to various time commitments and responsibilities. So you need to be able to trust in your significant other to be able to give an extra 20%, 50% or 80% whenever you can’t.
You see, society wants us to always believe that, as partners, we should always be giving to each other equally. But that can’t always be the case. Right now, I need Logan to be who carries us and our household as I focus on my new job, my blog and our wedding. After our wedding, I’m dedicated to giving him my all and more as he starts working towards going back to school.
You see, I believe that, in relationships, we have to be able to rely on one another, trust one another to pick up our slack - to take lead on things when we can’t. After all, if we can’t, why are we marrying the person?
Our Turning Point
For a few months, I felt awful about this. I realized that I wasn’t giving my all to Logan, and it was tearing me apart. Finally, I said something. I told Logan that I felt terrible that I wasn’t as present for our relationship during this time as I felt I should be. We talked. And I felt a million times better. This whole time, he understood. He was actively and happily supporting me.
How to Prioritize Your Relationship… Even When You’re Busy
Since we talked, I knew I wanted to make a couple of small changes to prioritize my relationship during this wedding planning stage. So I started doing a couple of small things each day to ensure my relationship and our wedding was top of mind.
Waking up earlier to have breakfast. Ya’ll I am NOT a morning person. However, I’ve been working on developing a more productive morning routine (be sure to watch out for a post soon!) Part of that morning routine now includes having breakfast with my boo so we can chat before we head out for work.
Sticking to a Routine. Before, as I was adjusting to all my new responsibilities, I was kind of just flying by the seat of my pants meaning that my time wasn’t being used responsibly. Now, I have blogging nights, wedding planning nights and free nights to ensure that I am managing my time. If I don’t get something done, I don’t allow it to bleed into my free nights anymore.
After work check-ins. After work, no matter what we have going on, I make sure to spend some time checking in with one another. We talk about our day, our plans for that night, what we need to get done, etc…
My Biggest Struggle as a Bride
So there it is, guys. My biggest struggle as a bride is being a good fiance. But lucky for me, I have a partner in life that is ready to carry me through it.