10 Tips to Write Your Own Vows
Hey there! I hope you’re enjoying wedding week, a week’s worth of wedding tips and tricks as well as a behind the scenes look at our own wedding! To wrap this week up, I’m sharing some tips for writing your own vows and sharing bits and pieces of our own! (Logan’s requested that our full vows are “just for us,” a new classification that we place on moments that we want to keep between the two of us.)
Why Write Your Own Vows
Writing our own vows is one of our wedding decisions that both Logan and I are the happiest about - absolutely zero regrets and only the best emotions and memories!
I first approached Logan about writing our own vows last spring, about 6 months before our wedding. He wasn’t sold at first (see below for how to convince your significant other (SO) below), but it was really important to me. You see, Logan is a man of very few words. And while I grew up in a household that was very expressive (my dad has been carving “Bobby Loves Gidget” on everything he sees since the 80s!), he didn’t grow up the same way. So it’s been rare that he’s truly expressed with words how he feels. And that is totally okay! But before we said “I do,” I told him that it was important for me to hear his feelings.
Convincing Your SO to Write Your Own Vows
Convincing Logan to write our own vows wasn’t an overnight situation. It took him about a month to get on board - but it also took me a couple of weeks to articulate why it meant so much to me. If you want to write your own wedding vows, you need to understand why and be able to share that with your SO. Why do you want to or why is it important that you share your own vows with one another? Maybe that’s been something that you’ve dreamed of forever. Maybe you feel like it’s special to share those feelings with your loved ones. Maybe you’re like me and need to hear them. Whatever it may be, the first step in getting your SO on board is to be open about it.
Then give that person some time to think on it. After about a week or so, Logan brought it back up to me and said that he would like to share that with me! And if they still aren’t on board, be sure to give grace on things that they want for the day of your wedding as well!
If they are absolutely not on board, then keep in mind that it is their day, too. Maybe find another way that meets both of what you want to accomplish with the writing of personal vows - letters to read the morning of is a great alternative!
Tips for Writing Your Own Vows
Writing your own vows can be difficult - for some, it may be verbalizing how they feel. For me, a classic oversharer, it was hard trimming down what I wanted to say to Logan! Here are the things that Logan and/or I did to write our own vows (and they turned out amazing, if I do say so myself!)
Decide that you want to write your own vows and start writing down ideas early! For about 4 months, I kept a note on my phone with a running list of thoughts, promises, memories and more. Eventually, these were what I used to build out my vows.
Talk through an outline with your significant other. As we got closer, Logan and I both started getting a little nervous about our vows. We wanted there to be a nice flow, and we wanted to make sure neither one of us was talking for way longer or shorter than the other. So we talked through a general time and layout for our vows.
Use varying emotions! The best vows incorporate a few tears, a little bit of laughter and a LOT of love! Don’t make them too serious - have some fun!
Use your memories to write your vows. I felt the most inspired when I was looking at old photos from our relationship - they reminded me of all the moments were the foundation of our relationship and all the amazing memories that developed my love for Logan.
Remember that people will be hearing them. I know… that’s intimidating. But it’s important to keep your vows to topics that you are okay letting your audience hear!
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself! These vows need to be reflective of YOU and your relationship. That means they just need to come from your heart, not be perfect.
Be open and honest. There were many times that writing my vows brought me to tears, but these were the times that I wrote the best part of my vows! Be open with your feelings and let them flow!
Make promises that matter. I thought about the things that I knew mattered to Logan, whether they were things that I needed to keep doing or things that I knew I needed to improve on to be the best wife possible for him.
Edit, edit, edit! Make sure you edit yourself leading up to the day of! You want to be sure that you can properly read them the day of!
Don’t try to memorize them. You’re going to be feeling emotional, and probably a bit anxious! So don’t feel as though you need to memorize them! Logan and I wrote our vows in little vow books so that we had something to keep them in forever. I linked a bunch of similar ones below!
Writing Your Own Vows
Writing your own vows can provide an emotional, personalized aspect to your wedding ceremony. It was the most beautiful part of ours, and something I will always be thankful for.
If you have any questions about writing your own vows, let me know below!